why I needed to come back to writing
Dear me, it sounds like I actually do writing in my life, but there is a difference between taking writing seriously and treating it at least like a hobby and writing as an activity which in my case, could actually be treated as a brain massage.
Let me explain - when your shoulders get tense - you get a massage, or take a nice shower to ease up your brick-like muscles. I need to massage my brain - in last months it tends to cramp up like a magnesium deprived body.
(yes, it is an overly flowery metaphor for being miserable)
But then I am a self-diagnosed narcissist. Instead of opening a journal on my student-discount bought MacBook I decided I will share this thing? with the World (e.g. most possibly no one) with a faintly beating, hidden deep inside of my soul a little desire to actually make something of my amateur ramble.
But then...
I am being sarcastic like I always do when trying to speak of the issues of the serious matter, or if I just talk about myself (but boy how much I like talking about myself) because it's simpler than the truth.
And the truth is I need to ease up the negativity, the flow of overwhelming sadness, the longing for the past, the sentiment which eats me up every day for longer or shorter periods of time and spit it out somewhere, because I cannot open up to anyone in real life and having a possibility that maybe someone will read my ramble is giving me some sort of relieve.
I will end it here. But I will need to come back here soon.
